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- The sex life of my belt's buckle is as frustrating as mine. It also sees many holes everyday but goes in the same again and again!----------------------Women have the same parameters for Men and Pizza delivery people. They are disappointed if they come before 30 minutes!-------------------------Women are a lot like alcohol. They may give you a great night but they're a fucking headache in the morning!-------------------------Female tears and male sperms are so similar. They're always eager to come out and only one in a million is for the right cause!-------------------------Dear Periods,The only reason we tolerate you is because you're a sign that we're not pregnant.Sincerely,GirlsDear Periods,We only tolerate you because we get blow jobs that week.Sincerely,Boys-------------------------Men like sex, just like their belts...If it's not tight enough, they'll move it to another hole!-------------------------Responses during Sex:Mistress: Wow! Darling this is great!Whore: Come on finish it now!Girlfriend: Ah! Please slowly!Wife: Ceiling needs painting!-------------------------A good date ends with dinner. An awesome date ends with breakfast!-------------------------Cleavage is like the Sun. You can look at it but you cannot stare - unless you are wearing sunglasses!-------------------------If you don't get a good appraisal inspite of giving your best, don't be disheartened. Even condoms are thrown away after 100% result oriented performance. ������������������������������������������NAUGHTY ENGLISH STATUS
- I’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
- If it’s true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
- How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
- I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.
- Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let’s bang!
- Is that a keg in your pants? ‘Cause I would love to tap that ass!
- If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?
- You remind me of a Championship bass, I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you!
- Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
- Could I touch your belly button. . . . from the inside?
- I’m not too good at algebra, but doesn’t u + i = 3D 69?
- How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I’ll put my head in.
- I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.
- Nice legs…what time do they open?
- You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
- Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
- My name is (name)…remember that, you’ll be screaming it later.
- Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
- My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.
- Lets play Titanic, you’ll be the ocean and ill go down on you.
- I’m easy. Are you?
- I’m trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I’m allergic to sex.
- That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I’d becoming too!
- Wanna play Pearl Harbor?….Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.
- Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
- You’re like a prize winning fish. I don't know whether to eat you or mount you.
- I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.
- You must work at Subway, cause you just gave me a foot long.
- Where you born on a farm? Cause you sure know how to raise a cock!
- Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
- A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What’s the moral of the story??? A wet pussy always makes a happy cock.
- I may not be Mr. Right, but I’ll screw you till he shows up.
- What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper!
- If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?
- Hi. I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
- Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.
- The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to bang you on the floor.
- Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
- Smile! It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
A Govt. Servant woman of our colony has been appointed as BLO
(Booth Level Officer) by the Election Commission for correcting the
voter's list.
She came to our home for verification. I asked
her "Aunty you are doing double duties nowdays. This election work and
your office work together!"
She replied " no no beta I m doing this BLO job only nowdays"
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